50 Things Every Grown Up Should Know

I cannot accept credit for writing these, but it's great info. Consider it Real Life 101. The test is every day.

1. Until you prove to yourself otherwise, always assume there is food stuck between your teeth.
2. A good rule of thumb: Your rent should not exceed one week's pay.
3. Women, think twice before you date anyone who regularly uses a number after his last name, as in Theodore W. Smithers III. And men, run for the hills the minute your date calls her father "daddy.''
4. Show up early and stay late for at least the first three months on the job. Once you've done that, future screw-ups on your part will be viewed as anomalies. (And unless you're very, very sick, don't call in sick, especially on Mondays and Fridays.)
5. Don't kid yourself. Opposites don't always attract.
6. Pay more attention to what the boss thinks of you than what your peers think of you. (Your cubicle mates aren't handing out promotions, raises and letters of recommendation, are they?)
7. Take lots of pictures along the way. But don't make everyone look at them.
8. Don't get married until you've spent at least a year living on your own. You need to know you can pay your own bills/ fill up your own time/ cultivate your own life before you let someone else do this stuff for you.
9. The harshest reality of life: Not everyone will like you.
10. At the restaurant, remember: solids on the left, liquids on the right. That means the water and wine will be placed to your right, bread to the left. When faced with a dizzying assortment of silverware, start with the utensils on the outside and work your way in.
11. Be nice to people "below'' you. They might be your boss someday. In fact, be nice to everyone -- waiters, cashiers, bank tellers, the mail carrier, the dog groomer, receptionists. And not just because it's the right thing to do. These people can make your life easier. If they want to.
12. Always, always, always RSVP.
13. During a job interview, never ask about vacation, money or what time people get to leave each day. Wait until an offer has been made, and even then, phrase that departure question very, very carefully.
14. Fresh garlic sautéed in good olive oil makes a fine pasta topping. Buy angel hair pasta, grate some fresh Parmesan and sprinkle on some basil. Quick, and it's better than ramen noodles or a bowl of Cheerios.
15. Don't comment on vintages and bouquets if you don't know what you're talking about. You'll look foolish. But do study wine tasting, photography, oil painting, pottery, playing the drums. Classes keep you interesting. (If you have to look like you know wine, don't sniff the cork. You'll look like an amateur. Instead, roll it between your fingers to check for signs of dryness. The cork should be evenly moist.)
16. If someone tells a joke you've already heard, it's best to just laugh.
17. Quickest way to a promotion, Part 1: Make it easy for your boss to ask you to do things. No eye rolling, no sighs, no big pouty lips.
18. If your job involves opening mail and answering phones, do it well. And cheerfully. A four-year degree (or a two-year degree or a six-year degree) does not mean you are above any task you were hired to do.
19. Never send a nasty e-mail. You'll spend a lot less time wringing your hands over who might have received your misfired missive. And eventually everyone misfires a missive.
20. Energy and enthusiasm on the job will carry you further than education and cocky self-assurance. Skills, especially at the entry level, can be taught; a great attitude cannot.
21. If you're a vegetarian, order a vegetarian meal. And then shut up about it.
22. Cellphones are useful, but they're distracting in many offices and workplaces. Either turn it off or answer it very, very quickly -- and then step outside if you have to scream to be heard. (And we know you already know to turn it off in restaurants, movie theaters and other obvious places. Right? Right!?)
23. Walk quickly at the office. It makes you look busier.
24. Think long and hard before burning a bridge.
25. Share the credit. Always. Don't worry, everyone already knows who pulls most of the weight. In the same vein, don't be afraid to fall on the sword. Admit mistakes often and loudly.
26. It's better to say, "I don't know," than to fake it. Sometimes, however, "I don't know" doesn't fly. In those situations, try, "Don't get me started, I'll go on forever." Few people will press the issue, because no one likes to listen to anyone blather on and on.
27. Bad neighbors should be exiled. Please don't be one. Keep your music low, be quiet at night, light fireworks only on the Fourth of July, clean up after your dog, keep your friends in line -- you know how to act. (And if you're one of those guys who's driving around with bass so low that your neighbor's plates rattle, here's the lowdown: We're sorry you need attention, but please don't look for it from us.)
28. Quickest way to a promotion, Part 2: Go above and beyond. So few people do that you will quickly stand out.
29. When traveling, avoid fast-food restaurants and chains. Find the local haunts and sample the local specialties. However, know when to apply the "Third World'' rule of thumb: Make sure your food is cooked and hot.
30. You've stayed at the party too long when 1) someone starts crying, 2) someone gets beaten up or 3) something major gets broken.
31. People love to talk about themselves. If you want to make a good impression, ask good questions. And then listen.
32. Your car is the most expensive item you'll own for a long time. It needs more than just gas.
33. Never under-dress for a job interview. You really are being judged on your appearance. If you've bothered to dress decently, you look like you've taken the interview, the job, yourself, their time, etc., seriously.
34. Take advantage of the 401(k) as early as possible. It's the closest thing to free money, even in these troubled times, that you'll ever find.
35. Learn the rules first, and then learn when to break them.
36. The things you regret later are almost always the things you didn't do. So go ahead and move to New Zealand.
37. Eventually you must stop blaming your parents for all of your problems.
38. Perfect the firm handshake. (For some reason, everyone knows this is important, but not everyone does it.) Look people in the eye. And speak clearly. While we're at it, exorcise "like, you know" from your vocabulary.
39. Leather doesn't stretch that much. Never buy uncomfortable shoes.
40. Well-meaning parents, teachers and coaches might have cared about your self-esteem, but those days are over. Be prepared to earn respect.
41. As soon as you start getting bills, buy a file cabinet or an accordion file and start organizing them.
42. Defer gratification. You can buy DVDs/ shoes/ many sushi dinners now, or take a really good trip/ replace your car/ buy a house later.
43. Plan to pay off your credit card balance every single month.
44. Don't buy a dog/ cat/ ferret if you're never home. It's mean. If you do commit to a pet, it's forever. Take it seriously.
45. Been dating the same person for two, five, seven years, and still not sure it's going anywhere? But it's just so comfortable and easy and, well, there's no one better waiting in the wings anyway? Break up.
46. Do you really want to live your life making only safe decisions? Take risks. No one takes anything you do that seriously until you're at least 30.
47. Money doesn't make someone smarter, more refined, funnier, decent, etc. Money equals freedom and nothing more. But that's why it's a good idea to save some.
48. Things that make a big -- and good -- impression: remembering birthdays and names and remembering to send thank-you notes. (Especially thank-you notes.)
49. Use your youth and good looks for all they're worth. Believe it or not, you won't be 22 forever.
50. Develop your brain/ heart/ soul/ personality. Believe it or not, you won't be 25 forever.